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May 9, 2010 / Michelle Ferris

Mazatlan 2009

Mazatlan – Day 1

– We got lectured (a very stern talking to) by a flight attendant on the way to Los Angeles. “We could have someone come talk to you. This is against FAA regulations,” apparently a, “serious offense.” Note: if you bring mini-bottles on the plane, do so with caution. Luckily, for the flight from LA to Mazatlan, there was a new crew.

– When we got there, we went swimming in the pool and hopped in the hot tub. Our first dinner was at the resort: Chicken Fajitas and Coconut Shrimp. Win! Afterwards, we walked on the beach and relaxed, settling in to our vacation.

– We did some research into snorkeling, scuba, Stone Island, the Market, Valentino’s, customs, hot sauce, and Joe’s Oyster Bar.


Mazatlan – Day 2

– We woke up to the sound of waves.

– Left the hotel and caught a cab to La Flores hotel. Got off early at the cabbie’s suggestion for breakfast at Panema. It was like a Mexican Denny’s. I think not. We opted to continue walking.

– Sarah was an explosion of rubberbands, so we had to stop at a convenience store to try to get something to help her hair situation.

– We walked into the sun, following the same street all the way to Valentino’s. Tony gave us a suggestion to eat at the corner of the Amigo Hotel. The shrimp was good. The beef was not.

– Surf’s up! I was right. Oh to have a surfboard right now.

– We picked seashells and walked on tidepool rocks by Valentino’s.

– Did some shopping at Bora Bora. Sarah bought a swimsuit.

– We followed the street along the water and shopped. Found a killer liquor store. Amazing tequila for $15 USD. Hell yes!

– Walking into the cigar shop just about murdered us. The humidity of Mazatlan (at 90 degrees and 90% humidity and rising), plus the added humidity with the cigar shop’s humidifier was horrendous.

– I bought a cookware set. It was priced at 450 pesos. I paid 320. Working on this haggling thing.

– Caught a pulmonia (open-air cab). The driver wasn’t concerned about using the steering wheel. He was swerving in and out of traffic, with his arms out at his side like a bird, saying, “Pelicano” all the way to Mega (whose logo is a Pelican). I almost poo’d in my pants. Mexican cab drivers are crazy.

– We bought a TON of food for $40 USD. Crazy!

– Caught a cab ride home that had air conditioning. Oh yes, such luxury. Must remember to negotiate before we get in though. Oops.

– We had shots of tequila and then went to the beach. We stood in the waves. It was like bathwater. The water was warmer than the weather in Seattle. HA!

– Swam in the pool.

– Margarita.

– Margarita.

– Margarita…

– Talked with Molly, Kate & Tony. We’re grilling tonight (Sunday).

– Looked for the “shrimp guy” in the morning on the beach, but he wasn’t there.

– Molly shared her cigarettes with us.

– More margaritas, then up to the room for food and a nap.

– We ate. And ate. And ate…. A loaf of bread, 15 wings, a block of brie, leftovers, nectarines, and amazing hot sauce. Whoops. I guess running around all day in scorching sun and humidity really takes it out of ya.

– Tony suggested I buy used timeshares if I ever do in the future.

– The nap turned into sleep. Woke up at 10:14 pm. Whoops! For future reference, Sun + Booze = Missing the Nightlife…. Drink at night in the future. Check.

– Me:  “Go out, or fuck it?”  //  Sarah: “I’m leaning towards fuck it.”  //  Me: “Well, fuck it then.”

– Sarah was still drunk. I was a little drunk, but my head felt gigantic.

– Many missions accomplished today: Saran wrap, Hot sauce, Tequila, Postcards, Breakfast stuff, Sandwich stuff, Ziplocks.


Mazatlan – Day 3

– Woke up to waves again and made an amazing breakfast of potatoes, eggs, chipotle, and stuff… it were good.

– We figured out there was a bus with A/C (Sabalo Centro). Decided this would be the bus we flagged down. It would be 80 pesos.

– Emailed our hunnies and looked up customs. 2 bottles of liquor each, no meat, fish is ok, and hard dairy is ok.

– Bussed to Sabalo Centro Mercado. Many stupid shops. MANY stupid shops.

– Swampass… yuck.

– Bought a watch for cheap, but too much.

– Tried on many clothes. Nothing worked except one top on Sarah. Extra cutesauce.

– Found a dilapidated building that Becca would have loved and took a photo.

– Back to the mercado. Bought 1 kilo of prawns for 70 pesos, 1 steak for 35 pesos, and 2 chicken breasts for 40 pesos.

– Hot. Swampasssss!!!!! Again, yuck!

– Took a taxi back to the hotel.

– We went swimming in el mar (ocean). Danger! Jellyfish! We got stungified. Little bastards.

– There was a fish that got hit by a boat and was beached on shore. It was still alive. The Mexicans took it and bled it dry.

– Pool. Much play with Oggie (Kate & Tony’s kiddo). Who names their kids Oggie? He’s a suger cute kid. Totally wish I had his eye color. He hides from his mom. It’s pretty funny.

– Up to the room for food. Made amazing steak, prawns, and salad. I even gave Sarah a teeny bite so she could try it (but not die). The stove was confusing, and I couldn’t figure it out. Sarah for the win!

Prawns marinade: Garlic, cilantro, lime, orange, salt & pepper, peach.

Steak marinade: Chipotle, garlic, 1/2 lime, salt & pepper.

Salad: Awesome. Nuff said.

– Hello full. Off we go to the hot tub.

– Too goddamned hot. The thermometer read 103.6 degrees – .4 degrees away from cooking. The mental image didn’t help. To the pool, then.

– The sun was setting. I still had ADD and was attracted to the shiny. Sarah bought two pendants and a chain for 1000 pesos, and I bought three pairs earrings for 450 pesos.

– Back up to the room and guessed the time. We would lose at the “Price is Right.” Time is now 6:03pm.

– Sat around. Showered. Prettified.

– To Valentino’s on the ghetto A/C bus. At the Valentinos complex, we went to Bora Bora and met “Oscar.” It was his birthday, or so he said. He wanted besos (kisses) and hugs. We did not succumb to his snag-a-tourist game.

– Sarah danced with Oscar for a bit. Sarah is more ghettobooty than me, I haz decidered. Oscar totally popped a stiffy and Sarah ran away. It was gross, and hilarious.

– 6 shots of tequila, including tip = 300 pesos. Not too shabby.

– Boys there tried to talk us into all kinds of stuff. Hugs. Kisses. Foam parties. Hotels. Parties on the beach. Um, No, no thank you.

– We ran away from the boys. Fast.

– Went to Valentino’s, and it was suckland. It was a meatmarket that was probably 20 feet square. They were playing YMCA. We ran from there, too. We tried all 6 different clubs in the Valentino’s complex, but they were all lame, so we walked along the water to Cherry. It was closed.

– We saw a helicopter fly over the hotel, hookers working the street, and a drug deal going down outside Valentino’s. Finally saw all three. Helicopters, hookers, and blow. Now it’s a real party. lol.

– Apparently the strip is the place to kick it. Cops were catcalling us. Hilarity. We walked back, and ran into Oscar and his crew again. We ran away, but not before Oscar snuck in a super ninja kiss. Sarah was FUMING MAD. I thought she was going to rip his testicles out via his throat.

– With Sarah jacked up on pissed-off adrenaline, we power walked 6 blocks. Asked. Power walked 6 more. No Senor Frogs anywhere (one of Sarah’s coworkers told her to go there). We ended up at Gus Gus and shot the shit with our server, Orlando.

– We had 6 tequila bloody mary shots at Gus Gus, french fries, and lots of water. We were both sweating like crazy still. So muggy out!

– Orlando invited us to the lighthouse at 11am on Wednesday.

– Took a cab for 60 pesos home. On the way home, we saw Senor Frogs. They were closed. We shook our fists at God.

– Had to put mentholatum on my bug bites to get them to stop itching. “There is a rave in my bed… Do-do du-do, do-do du-do…”


Mazatlan – Day 4

– Woke up to hangovers and nightmares.

– I went to the store to find comfort food and make attempt #2 at calling Eric.

– I cleaned up and cooked food. Sarah slept through it all.

– Breakfast happened.

– Sarah took a nap and felt much better for it.

– Started our wandering on the A/C bus, but got off for surf shops. I wanted to find something for Eric. We wandered on a mission to find presents and souveneirs.

– We were mostly successful, though conning happened for shiny things.

– Mission accomplished for Tequila, hot sauce (lots and lots and lots – oh the looks on their faces at Mega when we bought everything… wow…), and fans.

– The heat got the best of us so we caught cabs to Mega and to the hotel, and ate lunch like starving people.

– Notes: Senor Frogs followed Sarah around all day (bastards!), and ducks (even on surf boards) followed me around all day (bastards!). “Quaaaack, quack, quack, quack, quack…”

– Yet again it’s 4pm and we have no idea what to do with ourselves. Hmmm….

– We went and put forth a valiant effort at arts and crafts. We managed to paint outside the lines on pottery with hands so shaky that we finally fave up for the day. I finished. Sarah did not.

– We swam for a little while.

– Cooked dinner for tonight and breakfast and lunch for tomorrow.

– I finally talked to Eric for a little while. Boys distracted by video games and friends are not always very observant.

– We hung out, smoked some cigarettes, and decided walking the stairs was too much effort.

– Dinner was marinated chicken and sandwiches. Breakfast – potatoes, sausage/bacon, veggies, and eggs. Lunch – sandwiches and snacks.

– We are hoping for Mahi Mahi or something else delicious and a big fish cookout.

– I bought Dramamine for the boat trip, just in case. Better safe than sorry.

– 5 am always comes too soon.


Mazatlan – Day 5

– We woke up at 4:48 to my stupid prophecy coming true. I had said that I’d rather be woken up by bad dreams just before the alarm than by the alarm. (“Bastard,” said Sarah. “Ha ha,” said I.)

– We got ready and reheated our spectacular breakfast. 6am, and we were ready at the front gate. Molly an Tony (5 minutes early) were weirded out that they were the last ones there. Funny that other people are just as noidy about being on time as us.

– At the marina, cats. Lots of cats. Ones with heads. Very feral. Got swindles into paying for another 3 fishing licenses, but did get the sweet boat.

– 40 minutes out into open water. Torres looks squishable.

– It’s overcast, flat water, no wind. Perfect conditions.

– The deckhand was catching baitfish amazingly fast. Line in, line out, line in, line out. Sarah caught the first fish. A big one. Fought it hard and had a look of concentration and giddiness all at once.

– The baitline got taken by a Dorado. I tried to get it but it vanished from my teeny hook.

– Everyone else caught fish (Molly, Tony, Evan) and I got a chance again.

– I got the monster. I conquered nature. That fish was as tall as I was!

– Sarah, Molly, and Evan caught another fish and then we went back in. They tossed Marlin lines out on the way back, but there were no takers, though there were nibbles.

– We saw a green turtle (Tony saw two).

– There were two stowaway kittens on board. The deckhand fed them huge pieces of fish. They ate and slept, like cats do. It was adorable.

– Back at the marina, they tried to charge us for more (fillet, cleaning). No way man. We gave them a nice tip and left 4 dorados behind.

– They pulled off the skin of the fish in huge strips. It was weird. The cats and pelicans were going nuts.

– On our “limo” home (really, in the back of a truck), the knot in the bag of fish broke and exploded fish on the floor. We had ziplocks – yay! Being prepared is awesome. And lucky, in this case!

– We went to 106A (Molly & Tony’s) place and Kate screamed some weird shit about missing her scene. We were… whatever.

– At home, with A/C. Thank god. Went to the store for cigarettes, cloves, and soy sauce.

– Ate sashimi with crappy soy sauce. It’s better cooked. Oh well. Still conquered.

– Pool. Reflected on the fact that 80 degree water is “cooling off.” Funny.

– Saw big iguanas.

– Sarah finished her pottery.

– I look like I’ve been put through a meat grinder. Fucking bugs.

– Queso Ruffles are CRACK.

– Possibly Foam Party tonight after Kate gives all our fish away. Kate is currently making Tony take a nap.

– Tanned on the patio naked to try to blend tan lines. Napped in the sun.

– Woke up and made salsa sauces.

1) Garlic, grated onion, bell pepper, cilantro, lime, dressing, tomato, verde sauce.

2) Chipotle peppers, lime, garlic, orange juice.

– Went to BBQ. Tony made fish 3 different ways. AWESOME. Salad, fresh bread, sauces, and rice.

– Crabs on the path by the store scared the hootenanny out of Sarah. It was awesome.

– After dinner, got ready for Bora Bora for a Foam Party (neither of us had been to one before).  We paid 300 pesos and there was an open bar. Hell yes.

– Within 1/2 hour, we were 5 shots of tequila deep. We saw a cockroach. I screamed. We continued drinking like fish.

– The Oscars (plural) were there and it turns out it was Omar, not Oscar. They were pulling the same birthday schtick with new girls. Tonight it was a different one of their birthdays. Hella funny. Especially because it was working. I can see why they do it now.

– Foam dropped from the ceiling. Danced in it. We danced all night with people.

– Sarah: 17 shots.  //  Me: 12.  //  Both: Ouch

– Diving under the foam. Soaked. Totally soaked. Was playing hide and seek with Roger.

– Sarah was taking care of a girl from Kenmore. Walked her all the way home to El Cid. I walked barefoot with barefoot Roger, because my heels were just too much. He let me try his shoes, but they were too big anyhow. We walked barefoot.

– Got to El Cid and the girl’s brother, Thomas, was being a douchewaffle. No “goodnight.” No “thank you.” We got the brush-off.

– Sarah was PISSED + hoofing it again. I yelled at her to stop.

– Pulmonia: “70 pesos.”  //  Sarah: “40.”  //  Pulmonia: “Ok, 60 pesos.”  //  Sarah: “40. 40. 40 or nothing.”  // Pulmonia: “Ok.”   When we got out, he tried to charge me 70! I wasn’t that drunk. Screw that.

– Sarah, Roger and I went to the courtyard to smoke a cigarette and got caught by security. Can’t have visitors in the hotel, I guess. Live and learn. Roger was talking with the security guard in Spanish. I gave up on the idea of more tequila.

– Roger took off.

– I went upstairs and watched the lightning over the water while I sobered up a little. Sarah passed out. The storm was really cool.

– Sleep. All precious 3.5 hours of it. Sarah at least got 5.5 hours.

– Woke up at 9:14. Uh oh. Meeting Orlando at 10am at Gus Gus! Ooooops. Scurried out the door. My hair foamed in the shower from the foam party. We were walking soap bars.


Mazatlan – Day 6

– Our the door and caught a cab to Gus Gus. Too braindead to even negotiate. 70 pesos.

– 3 minutes late. Not too shabby!

– Caught the bus (Sabalo Centro) to the lighthouse. It was the last stop.

– Started the trek up the big, hot, dry rock mountain. Up, up, up. Hot, hot. Dripping. Sweating profusely. 95 degrees + humidity + wicked hangovers + a hike up with no shade = SUCK. Got about 3/4 of the way up and I had to call it quits. Seeing spots, getting super dizzy and almost out of water.

– Sarah: “Oh hell no you didn’t drag me up this fucking mountain to not get all the way up.” But oh yes, I did. Had to stop so I didn’t topple over the edge. By the time we got to the bottom, I was sweatier than I’ve ever been in my whole life. Sarah wringed a puddle out of her hair. And flicked it at me. Then kicked me. I deserved that. Orlando felt so bad! Not his fault. Definitely my bad.

– Caught bus to Panama in Old Mazatlan – had to go somewhere with A/C before we DIED!

– Cooled off in the A/C and had our awful food. Felt much better. Ate and chatted for a long time.

– Orlando helped us find cigars. Sarah bought 3 at 120 pesos each.

– Went to the Cathedral and looked around. Very Catholic! One neat thing – all the saints and Jesus all have darker hair and brown eyes. Awesome.

– Caught bus back. Orlando told us about a parasailer last year that flew off and ended up on someone’s roof because the cord broke. It’s happened twice in Mazatlan!

– Back in the hotel, took a long cold shower. Iced Sarah’s ankle. I ate saltines and olives. Life is ok again. Sarah is napping.

– Reception called and she came up to talk about Roger. Apparently he tried to sneak in by jumping the fence. Caught by security and hauled off by the police! I don’t know what he was thinking. I had to file a report, and now I feel like a douchewaffle.

– Meeting Orlando tomorrow for beer. Maybe ATVs? Snorkeling? Ferry to Stone Island is at the lighthouse.

– To store for sauces on fish tonight.

– At Mega, the escalator ramp thing is magnetized or something and locks the cart wheels down! How clever!

– Three Mexican kids (aged 16, TOP), wanted to talk to us in English to practice. “Amore,” “I love you, Amore,” “You married?” “Boyfriends?” “Can I be your boyfriend?” “Can he be your boyfriend?” “Can he (other he) be your boyfriend?” Sarah, “I think we’re a little too old for you.” They claimed to be 20, 21, 18. No freaking chance in hell. Probably just hit puberty. 16. Max. Non-negotiable.

– Rushed home. Home at 6:20. Oh snap! BBQ was supposed to kick up at around 6pm.

– Whipped out a marinade and yummy ceviche. When we got over there, no BBQ. No one doing anything. Tony looked happy that someone wanted to eat with him. The food was amazing, of course.

– Kate was chatting me up while I made the coconut sauce, and Oggie was alternately poking Sarah and I. Finally, Sarah started poking him back and said, “Watch out, she’s the nice one.” He kept complaining about getting poked back because Sarah was poking him just as hard as he was poking her. Finally, Oggie lunged to grab Sarah’s leg and she caught him, picked him up with his arms pinned into a self-hug. Sarah kept poking his side until he said, “I don’t like that very much!” To which she replied, “Neither do I.” Sarah put him down and he turned to attack again. Right before he pounced, Oggie said, “I’m little and I’m flexible.” Sarah sassed back with “You’re little and throwable. $50 says you bounce.” That stopped him dead in his tracks, and his eyes got huge when he realized she meant it. Then he turned and ran out the door to his dad by the BBQ. Tia thought it was hilarious. Wish we could have a picture of the look on his face.

– Coconut sauce: 1/2 can of coconut cream, 1/2 orange, 1 lime, 2 inches ginger, 1 tbsp thyme.

– Guayamas: Weird delicious fruit. Not good when left to sit and stew, but amazing fresh. Guava-like flavor.

– No bugs feasted on my at dinner. Hurrah!

– Caught a 1 inch gecko. Jumped on Tony and he squealed-ish, “I don’t want it crawling in my ear or something.” Oggie just loved it.

– Sarah: “I think I know more about their family than my family.” Me: “Yeah, haha, me too.”

– Up to the room to relax. Un-destroyed the kitchen. Ahhh…


Mazatlan – Day 7

– Mission: ATV’s, Eating at a taco stand, Souveniers, Orlando, Beer.

– Pulmonia: “Almost free”  //  Directions: “Almost there”  //  Lighthouse: “Almost up”  //  Boys: “Mi amore, I love you”

– Clockwork. I woke up at 8:20. Made breakfast.

– Sabalo Centro to ferry for ATV, snorkeling…

– Tried to call Orlando. Failed. I didn’t understand his voicemail message. I thought it said I’m not nice, but I’m sure I heard it wrong. lol.

– Caught a water taxi for 40 pesos. Got hooted at by boys swimming.

– Walked to the beach and found shells. The sand is soft and sparkly.

– Overcast today. Humid. But cooler. Just very muggy. Turns out we would have done better with the tour, price-wise. But we’re here. Note: Bring ID next time.

– Shared an ATV for 1 hour and eat smoked fish, guacamole, charcoal chicken, and 2 coconuts (coconut drink with run, vodka and tequila). It was a good day.

– Went to meet Orlando. He picked us up in front of the resort. He took us to old Mazatlan to a bullfighting bar where we had good food and Corona and tequila. I ended up paying for a lot of it. Oops. Met his cousin (?) there. He came on the adventures.

– On the way to our next stop, got pulled over by the police. Breathalizer was used on Orlando, and I assume he failed. The not-so-incognito money exchange took place, and we were free to go. Sarah and I were sitting in the back of the truck with our jaws on the ground. Yes, that really was a Mexican bribe. Wow.

– Went to a gay club because they had dancing and A/C. It was pretty wack, and people were weirding out on Sarah because she’s white, blonde, and big boobed. It wasn’t working well.

– Afterwards, we went to Joe’s Oyster Bar. We danced a bit. Orlando at some point realized (though we’d told him many times. Hellloooooooo!) that he wasn’t getting any, and grabbed his dumbfounded cousin and took off. Whaaatever. I was peevy. Thought I had found a friend in Mazatlan, but that was not the case at all. He just wanted to stick his penis in something. Stupid boys.

– We went home shortly after. Our flight was the next day.


Mazatlan – Day 8

– We woke up early again and packed up, then went down to reception and checked out. They held our bags for us. Since we had a lot of time to kill before our flight, we went to the restaurant. It was a nice spot with lots of windows all the way around. Little did we know there was an insane tropical storm brewing.

– First it blew inland… TONS of rain. The pool flooded. The pool chairs all were in the pool. Palm leaves everywhere. The windows were rattling like crazy and leaking all over the floor. The glasses in the bar were all blowing away and shattering everywhere.

– It was calm. Quiet. Sunny. They started to open up the restaurant windows again. And the wind started up again.

– Then it blew offshore. More rain. Lightposts fell, glass panes broke, whatever chairs weren’t already in the pool were now in the pool. It was a mess everywhere. The power went out across the whole resort. We heard reports that water was flooding out of the electrical sockets in rooms. I didn’t know whether our flight would be able to leave.

– We braved the storm to go talk to the people at reception about it. Nobody knew anything. We just had to wait.

– So we waited. And waited. And the sky cleared. It stopped raining. The wind stopped.

– I have never seen a resort go from completely trashed to fully cleaned up in such a short period of time. It was absolutely amazing. What a crew!

– We caught our cab to the airport. We saw mass destruction. Flooded streets all over. We were driving through nearly a foot deep of water in many places. By the time we got to the airport, it was completely clear. Go figure.

– We flew out and flew home with no problems, aside from LAX being a pain in the ass. But that’s the norm.

– An exciting last day for an exciting trip. Couldn’t have asked for more.

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